Writing Center

Jacy Duan, ’21 is a Sociology major with certificates in Theatre and Asian American Studies. She was born and raised in Los Angeles, CA where she subsisted solely on a diet of boba. On campus, she does all things theater and has performed in, directed, and produced various productions. She also serves as co-president of Princeton East West Theater and works as a Fields Center Fellow. She wrote this paper as a junior.

Frances Mangina, ’22 is a Philosophy concentrator with a certificate in Roman Language and Culture. She is particularly interested in Ancient Philosophy and in the intersection between philosophy and literature. In her spare time, Frances enjoys learning languages, choral singing, and wandering in nature. She wrote this as a junior.

Narrative, Spring 2021

Agents of Change: Hollywood Agents and Gatekeeping

In a Tortoiseshell: In her Junior Paper, Jacy Duan explores the role of Hollywood agents in perpetuating a lack of racial diversity among actors. She carried out seven interviews with agents, which she draws on here in order to explore whether agents recognize their role as gatekeepers controlling the presence (or lack) of diversity in the industry. Jacy establishes a strong motive in her introduction and then weaves together the individual opinions of the agents into a broader narrative about diversity in Hollywood. Jacy’s treatment of narrative ensures that her argument is both accessible and engaging.

Continue reading
Cross-disciplinary analysis, Spring 2021

Too Good to Be True: MyFitnessPal’s Gamification of Weight Loss and Its Dangerous Consequences

In a Tortoiseshell: In the final paper for her Writing Seminar, “Gamification,” Theresa Lim argues that gamified elements of the MyFitnessPal app push users towards the unhealthy end of the eating behavior spectrum. Her cross-disciplinary analysis creatively combines scholarship in psychology, nutrition, and game theory. By carefully defining relevant key terms from these disciplines, and by clearly illustrating how the concepts she defines intersect in the MyFitnessPal app, Theresa arrives at a nuanced argument and makes important contributions to the scholarly conversation

Continue reading
Spring 2021, The basics

Limits of the “blowfish effect”: Exemplar variability outweighs atypicality to support basic-level generalization during word learning

In a Tortoiseshell: In the concluding section of  her final project for Cognitive Psychology, Kennedy Casey adeptly discusses her research on generalization during word learning. She clearly summarizes her findings and their limitations, while also defining her contribution to the scholarly conversation and calling attention to her global motive.  Continue reading

Evidence, Spring 2021

The Futile Female Fight

In a Tortoiseshell: In a paper for the Humanities Sequence, Noori Zubieta strikes a balance between carefully working through her evidence, orienting her reader, and building to a nuanced thesis in a close reading of a passage in Ovid’s Metamorphoses.

download printable PDF

Excerpt / Noori Zubieta

           Ovid draws a parallel between the fight of Diana’s troop for their virginity to the forest around Callisto. While Diana is associated with the moon, the menstrual cycle, female protection, and maidenship, her brother Apollo is her opposite: associated with the sun, maleness, and sexual tension. In this light, Apollo and the “sun” at their zenith (417) signify a trapping heat and sexual danger1, and Diana and the moon consequently at their nadir mean a lack of protection for Callisto. So, just as Diana “overcome by the heat of her brother … enters the cool of a wood” later on (454-5), Callisto here escapes the danger for “a forest whose trees no axe had deflowered” (417). The implicit analogy likens “deflower[ing]” (417) by an axe, literally the exploitation of natural resources, to figurative rape; both exploitation and rape entail loss of beauty, and Callisto indeed loses her beauty in the transformations following her rape (pp. xxx, Introduction). Sex is the female battleground2; the violence inflicted upon the trees will have the effect of deflowering, just as the violence inflicted upon Callisto will. In fact, Diana’s troop in Metamorphoses does not merely hunt but fight for their virginity as “soldier[s]” (414).

           The virgin forest is a wild space, not yet subjugated by mortals, and Callisto feels safe here. The word “here” (419) emphasizes that only when in the forest does Callisto feel secure; in the sacrosanct forest, she is comfortable exposing herself. She is vulnerable, having “removed” (419) and “loosened” (419) her weapons, having “laid herself down” (420), and “lying exhausted and unprotected” (422). She thinks she is away from the male gaze, trusting the forest as a refuge and stripping herself of her protections. Jove takes her resting vulnerability as an invitation to prey upon her. However, in giving so much attention to the environment and Callisto’s feeling of safety there, Ovid has the reader identify with Callisto, the disempowered victim, rather than with Jove.

           Ovid acknowledges Jove’s intrusion into her ambit of safety. The verb “spied” (422) connotes invasion and violation of privacy, and even Jove recognizes his actions to come as a “‘betrayal’” (423), attempting to downplay it with the adjective “‘tiny’” (423). However, he only thinks of the sin against Juno and not how it will affect Callisto because, once again, the reader sees immortals’ ignorance of their potential to completely overwhelm mortals. All the same, Jove acts “at once” (425) without any moral qualms. Even his certainty that Juno will “‘never’” (423) find out is contradicted by the addition of an “‘if she does’” clause (424); Jove’s rhetoric is more self-justificatory than anything. He derives excitement from the deception, bubbling with an exclamation of “‘oh yes’” (424).

           In a single move, Jove violates Callisto’s refuge in the forest, her relationship with Diana, and her identity all at once. After the rape, Callisto “detest[s] the forests and woodlands which knew her secret” (438-9); her haven has become a symbol of her rape—in which she is trapped after Juno transforms her into a bear. Jove cruelly adopts the persona of Diana, a god of Callisto’s same gender whom she respects, in the rape, and after the trauma, it is Diana who will expel Callisto from her troop. Most importantly though, Callisto will have almost fully lost her identity because of Jove. Once he has departed, she “almost forg[e]t[s] to recover her quiver and arrows and even the bow she had hung on a tree” (439-40). Not only does Callisto lose her pledge of virginity and her beauty (pp. xxx, Introduction), but she no longer retains her soldierliness either.


Author Commentary / Noori Zubieta

           This excerpt comes from my third of four close-reading papers for the HUM Sequence. While I really struggled for the first such paper, I found myself getting into a routine by this one. I first looked for a few potential passages to analyze and, as usual, found myself attracted to passages that explored issues of gender. In my first reading of the Metamorphoses, the language “a forest whose tree no axe had deflowered” (418) intrigued me, and at my HUM mentor Sydney Bebon’s behest, I decided to trust that instinct.

           In the HUM Sequence, I benefited from many professors’ ideas on how to approach close-reading ancient texts with a modern lens; all urged me to be unafraid reading with a more feminist lens even if the times of the text’s writing would not have accepted a feminist perspective. Thus, I examined each word, noticing the careful identity Ovid constructs and then destroys for Callisto. I took out a pen and wrote down all my observations on word choice, metaphors, imagery, and the like; by the end of the exercise, the page was full of blue arrows, circles, and notes. This detailed approach ultimately greatly aided my writing. Once I finally opened the Google doc, the process was rapid, and I found myself loving the work. When I later consulted with professors Baraz and Feeney for feedback on my thesis, I was pleased to hear that, for the first time, my analysis was becoming sufficiently sophisticated.

           Throughout the Sequence, I struggled with whether my impulse towards gender-oriented passages was legitimate. I did not necessarily hear the same inclination from other students, and I wondered whether I was just taking the easy way out. However, I think that it was my genuine interest in the theme that allowed me to inspect the text so closely.


Editor Commentary / Annabelle Duval

           Close reading, a particular sub-category of analysis, requires imagination and careful attention to the details of a text — diction, repetition, shifts in tone, imagery, and other literary devices. While close-reading, one must first notice these striking details, then find patterns, contrasts and connections throughout the passage. At the same time, one’s reader must understand the context of the passage, and these details may require orientation to explain their relevance. Then comes the challenge of showing how these details build to a thesis. The writer finds themself asking why do these patterns and specific features of the text matter, what can they tell us about the larger importance of the text, and how are they different from what we’ve seen before?

           In Noori’s essay on a short passage from Ovid’s Metamorphoses, she deftly focuses on individual word choice while simultaneously connecting this one scene to larger ideas about mythology. First she orients the reader by providing necessary background on the associations of the different gods present in the passage. Noori then draws a parallel between the goddess Diana and Callisto, a soldier in Diana’s troop. She also introduces the similarity between the female sex and nature, both described as violated and exploited in this scene. At this point, Noori dives into the bulk of her close reading. She explains word-by-word how Ovid transforms a place of refuge — the forest — into a reminder of Callisto’s rape. Importantly, word choice is not Noori’s only area of focus; she looks at syntax, imagery, tone, and symbolism. She further highlights how Ovid’s authorial choices may influence which characters the reader identifies with. Throughout her analysis, Noori takes time to weave in additional pieces of orienting information so that a reader new to Ovid can understand the mechanics of the scene she discusses. These aspects of Noori’s analysis mean that any reader, regardless of their familiarity with Ovid, can pick up her essay and understand her view of how the details of this text may have larger implications about the relationships between sex, nature, power, and exploitation.

           Ultimately, any close reading is one person’s interpretation of a passage. Another writer analyzing the same scene could draw different conclusions about the author’s choices and their effects. But, the best close readings are strongly rooted in textual evidence, offer up carefully explained insights, and introduce the audience to arguments they might not have considered upon an initial reading of the passage. In her analysis, Noori carefully works through the text to achieve all three of these close reading goals.


Professor Commentary / Yelena Baraz, Classics Department

           For this paper Noori chose a rich and challenging passage from Ovid, the moment when the nymph Callisto, feeling safe, becomes vulnerable to the gaze and then the violence of Jupiter. Here Noori performs an exemplary close reading, carefully tracking how the poet’s language in the description of space foreshadows Callisto’s rape and transformation. Noori draws out the parallels between the forest as a natural environment vulnerable to human violence and the god’s perception of the nymph’s sexual availability. She further explores how the reader is invited to identify in the passage, an important question for understanding Ovid’s insistence on representing rape: Noori shows that Jupiter’s intrusion is unwanted and destructive, destroying his victim’s identity. The paper shows how careful attention to language, imagery, and tone can produce a close reading that opens up an important perspective on the big-picture questions the text raises.


Footnotes

  1. An additional element of danger stems from the “midday” (417), traditionally seen as a perilous time in ancient Greco-Roman culture. ↩︎
  2. Further evidence for sex as a war occurs during the rape: “fought” (436), “match” (436), and “victory” (437). ↩︎

Work Cited

Ovid. Metamorphoses. Trans. David Raeburn. London: Penguin Group, 2004. Print. All in-text citations are assumed to be Book 2 unless otherwise specified.

Evidence, Spring 2021

“Does it have to be complicated?”: Technologically Mediated Romance and Identity in Sally Rooney’s Conversations with Friends and Normal People

In a Tortoiseshell: In this close-reading of Sally Rooney’s work, Julia Walton’s junior paper explores the role of technology-aided communication in complex romantic entanglements. This excerpt deftly engages with evidence to provide compelling analysis on the significance of mirrors and photographs in Rooney’s Conversations With Friends.

Continue reading
Spring 2021, Thesis

The Hypocrisies of Wonka’s Chocolate World: Flipping Dahl’s Story Inside Out

In a Tortoiseshell: In the following introduction and excerpted body paragraphs from her final Writing Seminar paper on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Paige Min adopts an against-the-grain argument. She complicates the mainstream understanding of the text, namely that good children like Charlie who resist capitalistic temptations are rewarded while bad children who succumb to their desires are not. Paige frames her motive and thesis by orienting the reader to this common argument. Based on a close reading of the text, she argues that the story actually normalizes dangerous elements of capitalism and teaches children to blindly accept authority. 

Continue reading
News

Tortoise Tuesday: Structure in “Graphic Design is My Passion”

After all these years, it still haunts my nightmares. Black eyes stare beadily; a garish red tongue pokes out of a slivered smile. Moldy green fingers grasp at air. Clouds cover the sun. And one phrase traces itself in an ancient script: “graphic design is my passion.”

Figure 1: The “nightmare” in question1

In July of 2014, Tumblr user Yungterra posted the very first version of the “Graphic Design is My Passion”meme2. Would this image bring shame upon any self-respecting designer? Absolutely. But it’s tough to pinpoint what exactly makes “Graphic Design is My Passion” so awful. Some viewers have blamed its use of the hated font Papyrus3. Others have found fault with its aggressively unedited clipart frog. I have sympathy for both of these claims, but I don’t think that either quite captures why I loathe the image.

No, what bothers me most about “Graphic Design is My Passion” is its structure. In my extensive (fine, highly limited) design experience, I’ve learned that creating a graphic is quite like writing an academic essay. The designer has a key idea that she wants to convey to her viewer, and she uses her text, images, and backgrounds as evidence for that key “thesis.” These components of her graphic, much like the paragraphs of an essay, need to fit together in a particular way. In essay writing, this concept is sometimes called “arc”: an essay with a strong arc has paragraphs that build upon and blend with each other. Even as each paragraph makes a unique contribution to the thesis, it also hangs together with the paragraphs before and after. A graphic may not have an arc in the same way an essay does, but the best graphics do seem to have a kind of structural harmony. The text and images are individually compelling, yes, but what makes the graphic work is the way those elements fit together. In an ideal graphic, the text supports the images and the images the text.

Figure 2: A poster created in March 2020 by Swedish illustrator Sara Andreasson. The offset match calls attention to the “Break the Chain” message by “breaking” the text itself— harmony between text and image4.

Unfortunately, “Graphic Design is My Passion” displays no such harmony. In fact, it seems designed to ensure that no viewer could unearth even the ruins of an underlying structure. Consider the frog. Neon-green and cartoonish, it is the exemplar of modern Internet clipart. Why, then, would it be paired with Papyrus, a font meant to mimic ancient writing? Perhaps the red text and green frog are meant to form a complimentary color combination— but then why include a dissonant gray sky in the background? Thematically, the frog and sky don’t match up either; amphibians are creatures of the land and water, not of the air. If anything links these disparate components of the graphic, it is far from obvious. 

If a harmonious graphic is like an essay with a strong arc, to what might we compare the chaos of “Graphic Design is My Passion?” I suspect that the best analogue is the standard five-paragraph essay. Of course, most five-paragraph essays don’t have body paragraphs that actively disprove their thesis. Papyrus was my favorite font as an eight-year-old, for instance, but nobody with a “passion” for graphic design would share that opinion. Still, when I hear a professor or a peer take issue with a five-paragraph essay, the complaint is invariably that the essay lacks an arc. Even if each body paragraph adds to the thesis, it is unclear what connects the arguments in each paragraph. The reader is left to ask herself why the sky paragraph comes after the frog paragraph—and if changing this order would make any meaningful difference in the essay. Many five-paragraph essays are thus undermined by the same lack of harmony as “Graphic Design is My Passion.”

Next time you consider this cursed image, then, spare a thought for your own writing. Ask yourself what you can do to make your arc more compelling. When you have a sky paragraph and a frog paragraph with no discernible connection, consider how each paragraph’s ideas relate to the next. If you can’t find a relationship, it may be worth rethinking your structure. Yes, compared to worries about thesis and evidence, these concerns about arc may seem minor. But as “Graphic Design is My Passion” reveals, a strong arc can make an essay a dream; a weak one can make it a nightmare.

— Natalia Zorrilla, ’23

Footnotes

  1. Source: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/graphic-design-is-my-passion ↩︎
  2. Source: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/graphic-design-is-my-passion ↩︎
  3. Source: https://designforhackers.com/blog/papyrus-font/ ↩︎
  4. Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/B9yzHNRnDDj/?igshid=1uvb9nq3040i9  ↩︎
News

Tortoise Tuesday: Thesis in Review(s)

After finishing my senior thesis on Russian opera last week, I was relieved to have the chance to read something that was in English and didn’t have a meter. For a break, I turned to Marie NDiaye’s novel Three Strong Women (originally published in French as Trois femmes puissantes), a gift that had been sitting on my shelf for months while the wildly unrealistic chapter deadlines I imposed on myself came and went. When I finally starting reading, the wait turned out to have been well worth it.

I’m still engrossed in NDiaye’s novel, but while flipping through it, I was also struck by the collection of blurbs in the book’s front matter. Together, the blurbs, each only a few sentences long, present a unified thesis: NDiaye is a talented writer and anyone reading the blurbs should buy the book (they were selected, after all, by the novel’s publisher). Many of the blurbs reiterate the overall thesis in some form—”A writer of the highest caliber,” “A great read”—but each one also offers a unique piece of evidence in support of that thesis. Different reviewers refer to NDiaye’s “clearsightedness,” “willingness to broach essential subjects” (New York Times), “range,” “precision” (Guardian), “impressive forensic detail (Independent), and more.

The choice and arrangement of the blurbs mirror the structure of an academic paper. The publisher of Three Strong Women clearly scoured reviews from around the globe, identified useful excerpts, and arranged them carefully to support the overarching thesis, tying each piece of evidence back in to the overarching argument. Likewise, after doing research, selecting evidence, and articulating a thesis, a writer arranges her evidence in support of that thesis, always making sure that the value of each piece of evidence is clear. It helps if your thesis is as compelling as that of NDiaye’s publisher, but whether you’re promoting an excellent novel or trying to structure your D1, the essential process is the same.

– Rosamond van Wingerden, ’21

News

Tortoise Tuesday: The seeds of an essay — in praise of personal motive

[CW: sexual violence]

Throughout my time at Princeton, one significant change I’ve noticed in my writing is in the way I think about motive. Like many people coming into Writing Sem., I was initially confused about motive and especially about the relationship between different kinds of motive. Once I had a stronger grasp on these lexicon terms, I focused mainly on in-text and scholarly motive in my writing. Over the years, though, personal motive has taken on a more and more important role in my papers. More often that not, I choose topics for my papers because my personal interests and experiences draw me to particular elements of a text, and I want to explore these elements in my own close analysis of the text and in my engagement with the scholarly conversation surrounding it. Writing on topics in which you have a personal investment— and which may even be triggering— can certainly be challenging, but I have also found these projects to be some of the most rewarding I have undertaken at Princeton.

I am currently working on my second junior paper, where my personal, textual, and scholarly motives are very much intertwined. In fact, I was motivated to choose my topic in part because I got angry with a scholarly source! For my JP, I am writing on patriarchal violence in Euripides’ Medea and the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, and examining how the female characters of each text resist this violence through language. To give a brief summary of the myth recounted in the Homeric Hymn to Demeter: Hades abducts Persephone, and Demeter (her mother) manages to get her back from the underworld. Yet because Persephone has eaten a pomegranate seed, she must return to live with Hades for one-third of every year. One piece of evidence in the hymn that has become important to my analysis is Persephone’s account of how Hades forces her to eat the pomegranate seed. As I read it, this scene stands in for another penetrative violation that Persephone does not describe. But because Persephone’s narrative conflicts with an earlier account of the same events (focalized from Hades’ perspective), many scholars have discounted it as falsehood. For example:

In 372 (“ἔδωκε φαγεῖν”) nothing is said of the compulsion on which Persephone here insists. Plainly Hades did not use actual force or compulsion of any kind, especially as Hermes was present. Persephone only means that she had no wish to eat, and could not refuse the food. Nor would it be unnatural for her to overstate the case, from a desire to avoid blame for her thoughtlessness.

Allen and Sikes n413

In my opinion, interpretations like this one are really just victim-blaming masquerading as scholarship, and the assumptions they make aren’t grounded in morality or the text.

My personal motivation for “picking a fight” with these scholars pushes me to be especially rigorous in how I engage with this passage of the hymn and these secondary sources. I have tried to reframe my strong emotional response to my sources as observations and questions that can form the basis for my textual and scholarly motives. There is clearly a tension in the text between how the pomegranate incident is described earlier in the hymn and how Persephone describes it to her mother. Is there a way to explain this tension without discrediting Persephone’s account? (Answer: yes!) How have other scholars accounted for this discrepancy? What assumptions do their interpretations make? How do these assumptions hold up to a close analysis of the text?

Obviously, I can’t treat such personal topics in all of my academic writing — and I’m sure it would be exhausting to try! But it is deeply satisfying whenever I can do scholarly work that is important to me at an emotional as well as intellectual level. Motive can be about what motivates you to write, about the unique perspectives and experiences that each of us brings to our writing, and about how your voice can change the stories we tell and how we tell them. 

– Meigan Clark ’22

Works Cited

Homer, Thomas W Allen, and E. E Sikes. The Homeric Hymns. London: Macmillan, 1904.

News

Tortoise Tuesday: How To Conduct Your Introduction

I recently turned in a midterm exam for my Choral Conducting course. It was not quite like any exam I had taken before. The first question asked me to imagine that I was standing on the podium, about to conduct some piece of my choosing, and to describe what I would do in the seconds before the opening measures of the piece. What signals would I give with my face, hands, and body to show the choir what sound quality I was aiming for?

Due to social distancing measures, I have yet to stand on the podium in front of a physical choir. However, I imagine that the intimidating silence right before a piece began would be akin to the rather hollow feeling that accompanies writing introductions for my academic papers. I find introductions difficult partly because they precede the main argument of a paper. Just as it is tricky to conduct the beginning of a piece, when there is no sound for you to respond to, in an introduction you have very little evidence, quotations, or analysis to work with. Even so, the first few moments of a piece are crucial in engaging your singers (or readers) and preparing them for what is to come.

My conducting class has taught me that when you’re standing on the podium, you should never actually approach a piece from square one. Your choir may be singing the piece for the first time, but it is crucial that you have thoroughly analyzed the entire score beforehand. The type of cue you give your singers will depend on the piece’s style and on its structure as a whole, right down to the final measure. This is why I recommend that you do some analysis of your academic sources—or even write your body paragraphs and conclusion—before beginning your introduction. That way, your opening sentences will align perfectly with the rest of your argument.

Last week while conducting by Zoom, I made a mistake that I often see in even the best students’ introductions: forgetting to provide orienting information. I was so nervous about the piece we were workshopping that I began conducting almost immediately after I was called on—it took me a few measures to notice that the student who was supposed to be singing had been caught off guard, and hadn’t even come in. My “preparatory gesture,” which is supposed to act as a cue, had been too sudden and unexpected.

Conducting provides a useful analogy for how to go about orienting your reader. A preparatory gesture should not only help singers enter on time, but also communicate the tone, dynamics, and tempo of the opening measures. Telling your reader what topics you will be cover is not enough: you should also tell them how you will be covering them. What is your “tone”—are you arguing with or against the grain? Are your claims bold and new (forte) or are you subtly adding nuance to another scholar’s argument (piano)? Will you be speeding through a plethora of sources, or slowly analyzing one text? With such questions in mind, writing an introduction does not have to be an ordeal. Your introduction can be short—a mere flick of the hands—and yet seamlessly guide your reader into the body paragraphs.

– Frances Mangina ’22